The guy and the girl both survive their lame suicide attempt and land in the same hospital. They, at the same time, try to escape from the hospital, from the same fire exit and end up being rude to each other. The guy plays 'hard to get'. The girl is the blabbermouth hot chic (Geet from Jab We Met can’t be recreated, at least not by these guys) and clearly the writer is stressing that there is NO CHANCE they will end up together. But we all know they will and they do (spoiler alert, really?). What lies in between is a two hour plus, brain banter with cliché after cliché and yeah, a whole train of songs (good ones though), coming right at you one after the other! Run!
The heroine Kiara (Priyanka Chopra) has been cheated on by her childhood sweetheart and fiancé. The hero, Aakash (Ranbir Kapoor) has been doomed after a Wall Street crash. So they both decide to commit suicide and happen to chose the same spot and same moment for doing so. Fair enough. All attempts thereafter fail for some reason or the other. Sadly, a prudent viewer would eventually feel that one of their initial attempts should have been successful and that could have saved us yet another rom-com with a new formula rather than a new script!
Yet, the girls will aww at the hero and guys will ooh at the heroine and their clothes are designer and you like their style and as Himesh puts it, “fultoo attitood” and you have nothing really to do this first weekend of October (and also you have decided to ignore Rajnikanth’s pilgrimage, oh boy!) , then yeah, Nadiadwala will succeed and throw a success party (even Raaz threw one :P) and people will keep talking about the rise and rise of Ranbir Kapoor and of the Multiplex business!
CAUTION: DANGER AHEAD
So, err, back to the plot (yawn), the guy and the girl decide to do everything on their bucket list first and then die on New Years’ Eve some twenty days away by jumping from the George Washington bridge (the place they first met to do the same), The film is the story of these twenty days; how the hero can’t pee in the sea (actually ocean, but that one rhymed :P), the heroine has a drinking problem (some vodka if sad, Heineken if happy), the hero is virgin (shame shame), the heroine has a shattered khatara car (Blush, yeah that’s what she calls it!), the hero is cold and not interested in the heroine at first, the heroine is worried why not, the hero almost gets fucked by a fat American homosexual on their way to Vegas, the heroine has a friend who pops up in Vegas when they have almost not a penny left, the hero later falls in love and gets to kiss the heroine only when he has shaved, the heroine continues to be in two minds about her “since childhood” past relationship (Zayed Khan, a truck load of WTF) and that obviously builds the climax….phew!!…enough said…brain spinning....
Abbas Tyrewala’s, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is a classic example of how a regular filmy cliché Bollywood story can be masterfully crafted and presented. On the other hand Imtiaz Ali’s Jab We Met and Love Aaj Kal truly set the standards for the innovative new age romantic films in Bollywood (much like Aditya Chopra did with DDLJ back then). About Abbas, certainly a master screenwriter and director, About Imtiaz, we feel, he has the potential to be the Indian Woody Allen whereas Siddharth Anand, well...
A scene from the initial part of the film. Aakash all bandaged in the head, his wound mark visible, trespasses into his Government sealed residence, picks up some luggage, styles his hair, wears some designer clothes and woah! the bandage and also the wound is gone and he is back to being the all cute and stylish guy the public wants! Ridiculous! And yes, that word fits for the whole film. In short, Anjaana Anjaani is illogical, insane, overwritten, under-thought and in the words of Rajeev Masand, "deathly boring!" Need we say more?